Monday, October 31, 2011

day 99

haiku death match! HYA!
there, in one corner,
weighing 300 lbs: past
there, almost: future

She loved me with cuts
I still smell the death she left
It is trapped hopeless
I will love her like
sunrise on recycled mail
Her heart writes the truth
I couldn't tell why
This is just how things end up
Broken without senses
She smells like pressed stems
Growth lies between these pages
I will grow with you
She is growing now
Quickly, without me, this is
an inch too weary
I am growing now
Without her. She is shrinking.
I can breathe again.

I am two parts dead
one part alive, six parts there
most of me is here

Sunday, October 30, 2011

day 98

sunday morning screams out love me
i love you without screaming it
it's a crazy good feeling
to wake up.

to wake up

Saturday, October 29, 2011

day 97

I lost my business and a lot of my money,
but you know, it's not the worst thing.
You know why?


Because I still have you,
your brother, and your sister.
I know I messed everything up,
but I am smiling at your successes
and that makes my heart happy.
My heart is happy.
Papa's so happy.

Friday, October 28, 2011

day 96

my body aches for twelve more minutes of your time
there's gotta be a way for morning to come quicker
i will never be too tired for breakfast in bed
  my mind is scrambling
yearning to put words together
there are letters left in luke warm soup bowls
spell out something
wherever you end up
  don't forget to wake me
read me the newspaper
the forecasts are always a little too bizarre
and my joints will be sore on long days
i need help sleeping
there is an ache i can't stretch out
there is no way of pin pointing it
it is just there
like you and i
    like you and i

Thursday, October 27, 2011

day 95

there are too many layers of

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

day 94

"How do you kill a man with a dinosaur?"

1. It is humid out
during the end of Winter solstice
Long necks glistening with sweat
Almost as bright as your diamond ring
We are wearing turtle necks tonight
Dinner reservations on me.

2. You like girls that play guitar
Sometimes I like Michael Cera
Well hi,
call me Sarah
You can try to braid my hair and
I will tell you secrets to top it off.
This crush is
newborn Triceratops feeding time
at the zoo:
but I can dig it.

3. Your new hair cut looks terrific.
Sometimes I will pop out of doors to scare you.
I can be terrifying like
it can be Halloween
like yesterday
five days a week.
I lied.
The words hair cut are extinct to you.
You're wild.
It makes me want to eat you up like a T-Rex would
but I will be a vegetarian for five minutes.


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

day 93

10 13
thirteen brides
ten different different different rides
1000 horses
all white horses
thirteen hundred pale white corpses
10 13
thirteen bores
it is night with ten heart wars
she is thirteen and he is too
tonight they will stop being blue
10 13
1013 horses
look tonight
for the pale corpses...

sorry for such a creepy freewrite today. I just creeped myself out! hahaha)

Monday, October 24, 2011

day 92

but there's that deep gut feeling you always get when you see them. It's been awhile since the first crush feeling, but it's the first day I haven't hidden it inside. there are no more butterflies, just moths. a hidden moth.

you don't and won't understand how beautiful a moth can be. we fly during night, when your dreams are most ripe, most stuck in the first crush feeling. we manifest in the cobwebs your dry thoughts create. sometimes, we will create a fear.
but it will feel like that deep gut feeling, the same feeling you get when you see your soul mate.
see, we don't believe in those things anymore.
you are all too busy wishing for butterflies.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

day 91

I told you I am falling in love
but I don't know if
this trickery will trickle sense into me
The last time we watched the grass
It grew dew drops
My eyes stay dry, and our
kisses a little damp
I am happy
I miss you, happily
this is where we will fall in love
two months ago, five years before
In five years
and two months
I will still love you
like Autumn temperatures
the time changes
There will be minor set backs
every hour will become shorter,
and we will soon watch our eyes
grow dew drops like morning grass
this is where we will fall in disbelief
It is too difficult to part ways
We will be happy, though
I will miss it, happily.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

day 90




to the girls that would rather doodle in love novels
than write love novels

to the girls who are too bitter to fall in love

this is for you

(to be continued :P)

Friday, October 21, 2011

day 89

this is a morning where your feet stay asleep and your mind takes it's place
it is racing
my thoughts are two laps and three miles away from making sense
i will lay here for another hour
hoping that the finish line is just a five minute snooze away
it's not
and it will never be
this is a morning where my feet will wake up
and my mind will stay snoozing
sometimes i don't know what to think
but most of the time it will be okay

Thursday, October 20, 2011

day 88

New York City
big, big city
this is where her path lies pretty
Dirty, truthful, honest lies
Someday the useless ego dies

fuck you

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

day 87

1. Find the guy who will
willingly order you a pretty bouquet
of daisies
and deliver them to you
when you're feeling less than
He will make you feel pretty
on a tired Tuesday night.

Love him.
For he will learn to love
in ways prettier
than you'd imagine.

2. Don't save the tissue paper.
Happy tears dry on their own.

3. Save the light blue ribbon
that something else will
willingly remain
light blue when skies turn stormy.

4. When you realize
you're falling in love,
do so.


6. I am speechless
and in awe
at the event of meeting
love for the first time.
This isn't the first
but with more Tuesday nights guaranteed,
it will willingly 
feel the most important.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

day 86

whisper those words
don't leave me sleeping
cause I am awake
but you kept me

It's five past twelve in the morning
and I've yet to wake this slumber
you are lovely, darlin

Songbirds whispered me awake
They wished me a good morning
painted a pretty pink lipstick on
and asked my heart out on a date
I said
NO WAY dude

Because heck
you are who I wish for rainy days
and gray clouds
and any excuse to keep you inside with me
This house is a home now.

I'll play wife and you can take out the trash
There are dishes to be washed
and used as flying saucers
It is an electric blue frisbee summer
in the middle of Autumn
I am comfortable being lost in your scent
but you will learn to love my confusions.
I am sitting
five thousand miles away
in a quiet suburban attic
The walls are painted with hummingbirds
and there are scrapbooks that reek of
sweet honey nectar
This is where I bend my neck forward
for a kiss or two
leave the X's behind.


Before I forget

I am dreaming of a baseball field
It is starting to rain
and we are surrounded by metal fences
This is a meadow full of baby songbirds
who sing of seventh grade crushes
It's been about 5 years
you have crazy hair now
and I'm attached to the length
It's been awhile
I wear pretty pink lipstick
and you ask me on dates

This meadow is reserved for an electric blue frisbee summer.
I'm not afraid of spiders
and leaky faucets.

This house is a home now, love.

Monday, October 17, 2011

day 85

hearing your voice is the closest thing to honey
my mind is building honeycombs
each word seeps the sweetest sap
you are a new sapling, darling
i feel brand new

Sunday, October 16, 2011

day 84

tonight is a night
that tells bed time stories
of a found girl
being lost.
her heart isn't broken,
it is entirely whole,
it is just misplaced.
there are pieces that want to love
I can't tell if she
wants this
or not.
She won't tell me anything.
Her heart is quiet.
the bed time stories
lack an ending.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

day 83

And that is how it feels
to have your dreams come true
To have your senses
make sense of all the feelings
surrounding you
I am in a maze
of amazement
I feel like I was meant for this
This is how it feels
to have your dreams come true
To lose all your senses
and confuse the wants and needs
you lost control of
They are in a maze
of amazement
But they are meant to feel lost
And that is how it feels
to have your dreams come true
And this is how it feels
to see my dreams come true
Fantasy is an eyelash blink away
I am feeling less lost
day after day

Friday, October 14, 2011

day 82

father owns a bakery
purchase sesame seeds by the pound
they will grow into familiarity
love will taste like this
like broken english and chipped teeth
like cracked homes and 
lost hearts
this is how i taste found
 it is hidden underneath tongues
there are so many words left unspoken
the weight of my mother's heart
can be purchased by the pound

father owns a bakery
he will sell a family for a pound
I grew up on pieced together english
dozens of syllables replaced with egg cartons
love will feel like this
like cardboard shelter
like chasing shepherds and pursuing them
like sleepy dreams and
open eyes
they will never find a lost heart
but it hides a heavy tongue
father owns a bakery

purchase sesame seeds by the pound
lock animal behavior with a family
this will grow into familiarity
love will smell like this
like humid words being
strewn across foggy mornings
like staying awake and
being aware

father owns a bakery

Thursday, October 13, 2011

day 81

I am tangled today,

two days of
twirling my own hair. the
tips of my own
give advice to my thoughts
telling me hello,
I'm feeling new
but jumbled
lost in mazes
this love is
words of corn
there will be wine
with fancy cheeses
for you to get lost in!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

day 80

80 days since i've last felt home
in its most natural state
window serenades
with its fog seeping through the cracks
i havent gotten used to the mist
but the days have
ate its way out of grasp

they are no longer available
to hold
with loose fingertips
and words of advice
they have seeped through cracks
in brain cells
just membrane
80 days have floated through 
like fogged up memories

i can still taste their words
hear the beauty
they touch me with
leave me in awe
it is autumn now
late summer is 80 days old

happy birthday

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

day 79

I was floating.

It wasn't until later in the night
that I realized I wasn't flying,
I was aimlessly
Just an orb of some sort
trying to absorb some light.
I felt dead.

I hovered over a star
they burn with such an intensity
you'd question their passion
I was on moons
and the moons that our moon bores
They were hopelessly boring
and I was still aimlessly
aiming to
float somewhere
that would make me

It wasn't until later in the night
that I realized I wasn't hovering,
I was still aimlessly

I was alone
even gravity didn't linger any longer
This is what it feels like
to be lost in space
but I didn't feel weightless.
I felt the heaviest heart
pulling me down
back to Earth's reality.

Monday, October 10, 2011

day 78

you start to wonder
if the person you love
is going to change your life.
i love you
to the ground six feet deep,
you are almost as tall as
the roots of kissing trees-
but you haven't
inspired me to climb trees
or you never will,
and it worries me.
what if
you never inspire me to do so.
i mean,
what if
i don't fall?

i start to wonder
if the person i think of
at 4 am
has changed my life.

i am starting to
if i am just too 
to fall

Sunday, October 9, 2011

day 77


there is not enough time in the day
      to make tough love out of elephant skin
   to love big enough with flying ears
   some days you make me fly

i can't say that i will sacrifice
  warmth from my own soul
             to keep the fire in us alive
but i won't say that i didn't think of it

r e l a x
there will be enough time to
time is tough like elephant skin
  but the magic makes you fly

Saturday, October 8, 2011

day 76

Good morning
I lay here with 
poised hands of
a painter. There is
no fancy cot here,
just a home of
butterflies. I don't
know where you are.
I don't know what we would be painting
with our fingertips if
you were home,
physically. You've caught
me-- red handed. The
walls are pink now,
and St. Valentine is visiting.

Friday, October 7, 2011

day 75

I've been away all weekend. I ended up doing more napkin poetry, and receipt poetry!!

We are three-fourths
on the way.
Tonight I
am sleepy,
     so rest your
lullaby kisses
  on my heart.
You  are  a  sweet
So far--

Thursday, October 6, 2011

day 74

it's chilly
welcome Autumn
you are as beautiful as I wouldn't have expected
hot Summer is long gone
I didn't expect her to leave so soon
she is just a memory

frozen noses
and numb toes
my heart is a lost vulture
in a structural Antarctica
it will surely freeze to death
if left in places too familiar

is just a memory
I don't expect it to linger around for long
soon it will be Summer
and I will be making my mark
on frozen hearts
that need numb kisses
I am beautiful
it is chilly
new girl in old scenarios
you will be lost
you already know how
to find beauty in things that are

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

day 73

it is so 
to be at home
away from home
there is a certain
that is worth
five gallons of gasoline
it is
able to ignite 
the messiest flame
creating ashes
into tea pots
it warms the soul
my throat traps in.
these homes 
my tongue speaks of
are missing
trap doors
there are no
hidden secrets
to this

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

day 72

if I design the 
kissing tree,
how long would it take
for two fools
to fall in love?

-9.81 meters per second

Monday, October 3, 2011

day 71

and as i'm sitting on this two person train seat
the simplest thoughts run through my mind:
      how you make me feel warm, but still a bit chilled
                      like the tights I wore today.
   but I rest easy knowing that I'll always be able to breathe
      how i hate big cities
but i love being lost in time
     trusting your instinct
            because I don't trust myself enough
       how i don't think simple often
and that i should do so.
feeling lost has never felt so found.
it's breathable

Sunday, October 2, 2011

day 70

ce que j'adore

une liste:

etre rompu
un ciel gris
la nourriture du cœur
des sentiments de magenta
trouver votre ame

Saturday, October 1, 2011

day 69


slipping through my fingers

i lay here with hands of nickel
five senses lacking
i know i can't see the beauty of this anymore
heart forgot what it smells like
what speaking good tastes like 
what good company sounds like
my memory is fogged
is rainy
is welcoming October into a shit faced house
ring the bell to enter
i will not let you in.
i lay here with hands of nickel
heart heavy and lungs heaving
this is how i try to feel indifferent.
it is the jangling of jingle jambles
rambling rambles to make new words
this is how i can feel indifferent.
do you feel it?
lost in a strew of mazes
i don't know what i feel like
i will run through this field of emotions
i am feeling hungry
starving for an appetite to feel
is slipping through my fingers.
this is where we lay indifferently
indefinitely in definite
i no longer can define what my heart has to sing
and i cannot find my singing heart
but i do not need your reassurance
surely i will find it
it is lost in the beauty of amazement
and this maze is meant to heal
it will do just that
it will sing hello on the dew drops of October leaves
loudly sing lullabies that leave hope with me.
in a couple of days
i will lay here with hands of nickel
but it will all make sense
this restlessness will leave
it is Autumn, love
it is Autumn.