day 69

mood:

slipping through my fingers

i lay here with hands of nickel

five senses lacking

i know i can't see the beauty of this anymore

heart forgot what it smells like

what speaking good tastes like 

what good company sounds like

my memory is fogged

is rainy

is welcoming October into a shit faced house

ring the bell to enter

i will not let you in.

i lay here with hands of nickel

heart heavy and lungs heaving

this is how i try to feel indifferent.

mood:

it is the jangling of jingle jambles

rambling rambles to make new words

this is how i can feel indifferent.

do you feel it?

lost in a strew of mazes

i don't know what i feel like

i will run through this field of emotions

i am feeling hungry

starving for an appetite to feel

something

anything

mood

is slipping through my fingers.

this is where we lay indifferently

indefinitely in definite

i no longer can define what my heart has to sing

and i cannot find my singing heart
but i do not need your reassurance
surely i will find it
perhaps
it is lost in the beauty of amazement
and this maze is meant to heal
it will do just that
it will sing hello on the dew drops of October leaves
loudly sing lullabies that leave hope with me.
in a couple of days
i will lay here with hands of nickel
but it will all make sense
this restlessness will leave
it is Autumn, love
it is Autumn.