Sunday, July 22, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
- It may be wrong
but some days I pray for my cell phone
to lose service
to lose life
to lose the fight to stay alive.
I just don't want to talk to anyone today.
- I try not to sound dramatic
whenever I ask for a day to be alone
but I end up making a huge scene.
I need time
It's extremely exhausting
talking to people
- I just don't prefer being surrounded by people
I hate big crowds
I hate long conversations
I hate people that only prefer to go to
the mall, big dance parties,
or small cafes
just to be alone
just to talk.
- You honestly don't need to talk so much.
- I honestly don't appreciate human beings that
What's wrong with you?
Why are you so quiet?
- Why are you ignoring me?
- I'M NOT IGNORING YOU
- I just don't have the energy to speak
too much time feeling uncomfortable
and not enough time to feel happy
- I am, too, uncomfortable when I am quiet.
- I don't think anything is wrong with me.
I have just learned to appreciate small talk,
close friends, and good vibes.
I don't think it's wrong to ask to be alone
and I don't think it's wrong to prefer not to respond.
Sometimes people say the darnest things.
I'm not afraid of people.
I just get burnt out.
I'm so full of energy that it tires me.
Drives me insane sometimes.
I don't plan on changing this. This plays a huge part in my life.
In who I am.
If I wasn't an introvert, I wouldn't be the same.
I wouldn't love what I love,
and love who I love.
I wouldn't be as lovable.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
It's the new thing
the new trend
just grab your thoughts
show them your soul
don't choke on your nerves
the nerves are there for a reason
for two reasons
one to remind you to be scared
be brave but be fearful
don't forget your lines
don't forget why you wrote this poem
to the thinker behind the words
to the creator
you are a God
you can become your own savior
lose yourself in lost moments
find yourself with your own soul
you can make people dance
play puppeteer to bad structure
and bad spelling
don't forget it doesn't matter
don't forget it will never be perfect
be who you are supposed to be
be your own creator
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Thoughts of a 6'4" NASA employee named Houston.
They always told us we could be anything when we grew up
We could be doctors
I just wanted to fly.
I just wanted to help my Earth
I didn't want to play with fire
or save super heroes from evil villains
I just wanted to fly.
I worked my way up the ladder
to almost maybe
to almost an astronaut
to sorry bud,
you're just a little too tall
to the "Houston, we have a problem"
to the Houston,
we do have a problem
you're just a little too tall
to almost maybe
to you could be whatever you want to be
if you just put your mind to it
to the Houston, we have a problem
to the Congratulations
we're promoting you
to the job as a technical engineer
we have a problem
to the men stuck on the moon
I just wanted to fly
You wouldn't let me
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Are you sure
you can commit to something
you're already blessed
this will probably be a breeze
for the doubts
the eyes and the ears
It has helped me
in too many
I can only sit here and think
Monday, July 16, 2012
- My body hasn't felt this healthy in avalanches,
mud slides and tornadoes
- Quitting all of my jobs has got to be the best
decision I've ever made
I've been able to eat less grease
drink less sugar
and think more positive
- A clear mind clears gunk in the soul
- Dancing enforces shaking the dirt out of my skin
- It feels good to be tired for a reason
- It feels good when people underestimate me and
feel proud of me
when they realize I could do something
if I just put my mind to it
- For a really long time,
I finally feel together
all of my mind, body & soul
with beautiful bass
with beautiful faces
Sunday, July 15, 2012
I have realized
the deep gut feeling I've had in my stomach
getting ready to fly
I am getting ready to fly
I am ready to fly
I've spent the past few weeks feeling so
swimming without any limbs
Impossible to move forward when you dwell on your flaws
I have too many flaws
but they make me happy
I am destined to be something greater
and I will be
I will be something greater
I will be someONE
Saturday, July 14, 2012
That's what we're meant to do
Protect each other from harm
from stranger glances
and harsh words
You make me feel alive
You make me realize that I am alive
every ounce of harm I've been exposed to
has been radiated by a thousand degrees
Feel like million dollar burns
There's no way you could ever build me new skin
You try to tell me
You try to protect me from self harm
(too many problems with my imagery)
I only see the beauty in strangers
Friday, July 13, 2012
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
that can successfully describe how
accomplished I feel.
I am no way near where I could be
if I tried a million times harder than I have,
but I will take my earnings by the handful
and feel grateful
for all the inspiration around me
for all the love I have witnessed
for all the souls I have saved
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
oh my god
oh my god
oh my god
oh my let me pray
let me convert to any religion that will heal my need to poop
sweet baby help me heal me
dont stop at the stop sign
do not stop
you don't need to stop
i am so disappointed
Monday, July 9, 2012
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Now they talk like they're the first video vixens of our generation
They used to tell me my lack of breasts were a poor excuse for young womanhood
used to tell me loose denim were for the big boys and the
used to ask if i dreamed of their loose bodies when i spent time without them
used to ask why i admired boys who looked like girls and girls that liked girls
and girls that admired girls that looked like boys who looked like boys
This is for the pretty girls who have ever questioned my intentions***
There were never any soft stares that made me want to love you
The prettiest girls had the coldest stares
like refrigerator eyes soaking in their frozen souls
Let them thaw
let them soak in best intentions
let them talk about sex to you like they knew you wanted it
let them think you did
let them grow
watch them flourish
let them see you squirm
do not squirm
do not squirm at who laughs at who you love
you love who you love and love that you do
There were only two lovers who shared soft stares with me, soft hair, and soft words. Soft touches. Hard lovetoo hard to love purely again
We all love for the grime and elbow grease
You just want to cradle the heart of her sleeve between your softly nestled elbow
Friday, July 6, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
I love the adrenaline
adrenaline in me
keeps my blood pushing forward
One more mile
one more push
in and outs
and outs and in
you can do this
tone it down
You are alive
take care of your temple
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
There are days I can't speak
what I need to speak
need to say I can't breathe
cannot catch the breath to show love
to show you how much I can mean
to your universe
Might as well be invisible
I can change the planet
only if you wanted to see me do so.
I know you'll only know my face
when you are curious
with what you are seeing..
Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
(and only blood sister)
I don't think you can swim
There have been too many times I've caught you crying
Caught you drying tears like your life has depended on it
2 You must have trained yourself
to be so stealthy
3 I don't know if you know that drowning is beautiful
Immerse yourself in the beach tears you try to avoid
Learn that you are beautifully broken
You are so beautiful
It is hard to swim to shores close enough to
gargle out the words you need to hear
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
not enough inspiration I've been capturing
I've been lacking the beauty inside myself
all the beauty I'd ever need
to feel beautiful
is being cradled between my fingertips
That's what I'm supposed to convince myself
I can be something beautiful
something pretty to look at
makes all the pretty boys want to hold my hand
want to marry me
I want to marry you
and that's all you have to say
and I'll run away
and feel so
and you'll run away
and you'll feel so
There are too many poems I'd like to write
too many pretty boys I'd like to hold
with finger tips melting onto my skin
with some sort of passion
I want to marry you
so I will
but I won't
Lately I've been caught up in all different types of wrongs
all different types of jealously
I'd love to write so many poems
I'd love to write about how madly in love I am
but it upsets me to do so
To do so would cure a blind man's madness
I wonder how a blind man pictures beauty
I may be going blind from madness
Friday, June 22, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
I have too many reasons to love
and I care too much that I end up
what could be a bright new start
What is the lesson of this story
what if some stories are just sky scrapers
with no businesses
there is no business to care about yourself
let alone others
who won't let you care about them
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
in 96 degree weather seems exciting
until your skin feels like it is melting
and you are so hot
it is so hot
it is too hot out there
dont go outside
dont let it get to your head
do not become hot headed
too hard to become hot headed
heat strokes while i'm stroking your hearts soul
it is too hot
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Monday, June 18, 2012
via cell phone
(technology is unreliable)
I do not believe that I am hard working
I just have become more used to
to feeling very tired
and money rolls in all the time
but i can't seem to slide along
Sunday, June 17, 2012
I am attempting to write something beautiful
I would like to dedicate today to Jasper Som
It is so lovely
how we have learned to live so lively
Loved so lively
Every breath expanding heavy lungs next to balloon sized hearts
You said you had a small heart
You probably do
With your sense of self and self greed
But you love like a hot air balloon
It is so hard to keep each other grounded
but you're doing well
You're doing well
We're doing well
Saturday, June 16, 2012
this is where i live
you changed the locks on your doors
am i left allone
you only want to love me when im drunk
when my heart is completely aware
i am in love
i love you
dont treat me like dirt.
flowers can still grow where grass has turned into dirt
Friday, June 15, 2012
i had to do it for a reason
i had to love another to show you i can
i had to tell you i could love you without
and i am loving another
and he is loving me
and where are you to be found
tonight i wanted to say help
but you were no where to be reached
i wanted you to save me before i
i mingled, hearts tingled,
but i am back in my bed
and this is the first of the long nights
this is onily the first
onlye the fierst
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
The love from the night was so
I am missing almost every adventure
we failed to complete.
Pretending to climb trees made of
and lost hopes
and maybe this is what fate is
I mean we are here,
Portable toilets and empty sand lots
Imagine what a tree would say
if you asked about it's life
2 Pretending to climb trees made of
hidden lakes and
drunken song verses
cheap balloon thrills
We smoke cigarettes like we are addicted
Like the nicotine is the only way
we can feel complete without each other
Pretending to not think of you
every time we smoke pot on quiet street corners
The party is over there guys
the party is under trees
pretending to be drunk
They'll make love to trees hugging onto
liquor and whiskey and sober wishes
4 Pretending to climb trees
but finding open bodies of water
almost wanting to open bodies and
glue them together
What shouldn't be should be
and what should be
should stay this way
It feels so good pretending to climb trees
Feels so good
because we are sober.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
A customer had daisies growing around his house
Daisies are my favorite
Are those....daisies, sir?!?!
Yes! Wild daisies. They grow like weeds. Especially around the high way.
I am a dandelion turned Daisy
With pretty little petals
I've been touched before
Stung by sweet honeybee words but
Some days I grow like weeds
I don't feel like doing anything today
But I will
And I will grow
And you don't want to do anything today
But you will
You will drive on wandered highways
And lay with sweet honey bees
Who speak words to make flower petals
And you will grow
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
We did it
I'm sure it was easy for others
some a little too difficult
but whatever it was for you
it is what shaped you into the person you
will continue to grow into.
There will be times you will give up
will stop believing
will stop loving
Do not stop yourself from feeling like this
There will be a moment you will find yourself
chuckle a bit
That wasn't worth worrying over
Stay beautiful, friends
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
I lay here
almost every black out
You used to hide during the day
Only spoke before deep slumbers
we used to sleep so soundly underneath swaying branches
Used to sway each other like branches
So used to loving you like this
I am not sure if we are still in love.
I am comfortable
Always am with any lover
You have grown so used to calling yourself different
Nothing is different, honey.
You can always collect the same sweet sap from any kind of kissing tree.
Just remember to go in pairs
Sleep soundly underneath pear trees
Maybe wish that this pair isn't strange
Maybe we wish too often not to be strangers.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Tomorrow is the next day I am working
my elbow hurts more than its ever hurt before
and I am having nightmares of getting paper cuts
close my eyes to dream.
Waiting sucks but
I'll be happy
Thursday, May 31, 2012
walking with walkers
on the brightest
And everyone walked.
You're all walking.
All walking in sync
to each other's lives.
We are all somehow synced
Stitch and hold high
highly hold yourself
only you can feel.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
we are growing together
It is difficult to avoid
Sometimes I cannot bring myself to remember how much I love you
and how much you love me.
Our love feels like baby ducklings
following their courageous mother
through ponds, puddles,
and unpaved paths.
We're all in this together.
It'll save our lives.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
i have all the support i could ever need
sometimes i stress out for
but there are reasons
more than one reason at least
i just feel a tad bit. . .
what if i did my art strictly for my own enjoyment
that's what art is supposed to be like right?
but everyone wants to feel supported.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Feeling so stressed out
Just want to be adored
I want to be a rock star more than anything
I want to be loved by passerbys
Today a man on a motorcycle pulled over as I was walking.
You are gorgeous
You are SO gorgeous
Come take a ride with me
No thank you
I dyed my hair red
And dark brown
Within the past three days
I just wanna be a rockstar.
I just want to be someones rock.
I am not going anywhere.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
It hits hard when you don't feel an ounce of pretty
2 I get angry too quick
3 Yesterday I had a panic attack
When I tell someone to STOP
more than once
I grow more anxious
4 Sometimes you just can't stop crying
5 Sometimes I want to cry for days and days and days
6 Yes. I WAS RAPED. THAT DOESN'T CONTRIBUTE TO MY LACK OF BEAUTY. That doesn't fucking
8 My goodness
9 I will heal somehow
I will heal
This will heal
I will heal someday
but I am losing hope
10 I am losing hope
I am losing beauty
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
one full of life
makes you feel like living
makes the sunshine look like an amateur
we all just want to be on top
the biggest squash to squish them all
demolish all competition
you are lost in
dandelion useless singing sirens
the dying weeds will die
Saturday, May 19, 2012
I'd love to quit
When my wrists get
a little too heavy
to hold up my words
They don't just flow out like that. They don't just
find a way from my brain
to my fingertips
When they finally find air
these words will dry
and stick together
It has become difficult
to pull each letter back into my
Must remember what I've written
must spit out words through
and out to inspire
on a stranger's fingertips
** On some days
I'd love to quit
When my wrists get a little too
Too many long faces in such a short span of
Are you sure this is what you'll do forever
But I am certain
The passion will live on and on
until my house burns down
and I build a home
stacking them up
make my words high
Fly with them
I want to inspire your best friend's
her stranger's fingers
We're all a little uncertain
Some days I'd love to quit
But I refuse to let my words become strangers.
I refuse to let my passion
burn itself out.
Friday, May 18, 2012
At this point in my career I've:
- Performed with my team at the BNV 2011 Finals
- Started this 365 project, 300 days ago
- Debuted Autumn #17
- Gotten published in Lowell's very own Young Angel Midnight Anthology (I'm the baby of the book)
- Taught a poetry workshop to really smart college kids at Harvard University's BAASIC 2011
- Found my soul
- Taught students from Lawrence's Wetherbee Middle School
- Placed 2nd in the Jack Kerouac Poetry Competition
- Performed Autumn #17 at the Mayor's Inauguration due to his request
- Slammed and advanced to the semi finals for the Mill City Slam Team
- Earned a spot to slam at the Ontario International Poetry Slam in November 2012
- Debuted When the Wars Begin
- Competed with Lowell's very first Louder Than a Bomb Slam Team
- Performed When the Wars Begin at LTAB Semi Finals (and scored 9.1 and above as a sacrificial poet)
- Performed Snapple Fact with my team at LTAB and our kick off show
- Performed at the 2012 Take Back the Night Event
- Accepted my rape
- Became stronger
- Taught poetry workshops to the children at the Robinson Middle School
- Slammed in front of my best friend for the very first time
- Gotten asked to perform When the Wars Begin at the opening ceremony for Mass Poetry's Poetry Festival
- Shared the stage with Major Jackson, Maggie Dietz, and Robert Pinsky
- Earned the title of the 2012-2013 Lowell Youth Slam Team's GRAND SLAM CHAMPION
- Made a long list
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
There is comfort...
in your soul.
It may be hidden
Under shelves of broken in book bindings
The smell of a vacant library
always seemed appealing
to the people hungry for new titles
(this will be finished when i remember
how much i love my city)
Monday, May 14, 2012
"You are so tiny" "I've never
you really are"
I am a small person
With big dreams
elephant shoes and
locking all of my
ambitions in a trunk
hiding it in the attic
I don't have
My mind will have
to do for now
you are tiny
you are so
but you are still
capable of loving
you are a dreamer deep
but you've always
done things with love
bigger than your
you are tiny
you are so
but you are safe in your dreams.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
and where could Mars be
My mother calls me Mars
I believe she wants me to grow into something more
but I am a new planet everyday
but I am a new
I am a new planet
from happy to bitter to
I get scared sometimes.
Jasper gets fearful when he realizes I scare myself too much
you are too much of an inspiration, love
if you can't inspire yourself
to realize how grand things can be
then how will i convince you
I have never used the word scared
to describe myself
I am so strong-hearted
they call me crazy for a reason
I'm afraid of rape.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
put my dreams on hold
Why is it called
PUTTING ON HOLD
when I am
from even being able to
HOLD onto them.
the reality of being alive
has to get in the way of
pursuing what makes me
What am I going to do with my life
I can't enjoy a Saturday night
saying what I really want to say
feelin how I really want to feel
Putting all jokes aside
I've been so blank
just plain sad
But it's okay.
I'll just hold it all in
keep my blues to myself
during another 8 hour shift.
My dreams are dead tonight
I wish I was born rich and
Friday, May 11, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
to be a much
and a friendly
I feel sad,
at how much
I don't want people
to know about
It is so easy
to find out
what I did
and what I did
Everything is private
and it sings like
All distant and
Monday, May 7, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
that I'm moving to New York in the fall.
I should do that today...
but it is so
to tell someone you've
changed your mind
It's like trying to tell myself I don't love you anymore
because I do
but you're right
I am too quick to gamble what we have
I've always been a little
But that's what you love about me,
Friday, May 4, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
College is supposed to...
today I don't have the energy or
mood to say what I feel like saying
I wish I had gone a different path
chose a different major
But you haven't tried it yet
I know I haven't
but how can I look forward to something
I can't even pay for
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
I miss being in my mother's home
She has made it so warmth
so full of life
even though it is empty
wall to wall
2. She must be extremely lonely when I'm gone
And when I'm gone
I'm gone for days
Whether physically or just
I haven't been anywhere close to Earth in a while.
This must change.
I am a good person
with a huge heart
Hands are a little on the small side
but I can still warm you with
I apologize for not being there
never able to hear what
you want me to say
for their souls
to warm up their empty glass homes
It gets cold easily
without a baby in the house
4. I apologize for ruining the live space
dead load system in this home.
I learned about this in my first period
Sometimes I don't even want to be in school
because of that class.
I've spent the last 4 years
wanting to be a vet
to an engineer
to an architect
5. I only strayed away from being a vet
because I couldn't bring myself to
throw away a dying baby mouse
on a glue trap in my mother's kitchen.
Who's home would be ruined
if their baby was squealing in a trash can
I didn't want to be an engineer anymore because
I couldn't figure out what concentration I wanted to focus on.
Oh you should do chemical,
you can make make up
No! I want to be a mechanical engineer
Maybe I can put clocks together
Freeze time when I want
or just speed up times
even though that shouldn't be allowed to happen
I've always done horrible in math
since the 8th grade
I don't understand
I can't stand being a mathematician
How many times would I have to solve problems
Sometimes I have my own problems
Way too many of my own
7. I really hope that architecture will be my forte...
I really hope I don't screw up in college...
I really hope
screw up a stranger's house
Who's home would be ruined
if their baby was squealing in a trash can
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
If I tried to take back the nights
I'd be way too exhausted
trying to sleep my way through these
You hand wrapped in pretty boxes
You're such a pretty girl,
a lovely young girl,
you have so much going for yourself
And you are a sad, sad person.
For using and abusing
leaving me scarred with no evidence
This is to leave the nights as soundly
but silent they were.
You regret this
everyday of your life
I tell myself this everyday.
I do not hate you.
I will not hate myself.
I know my worth.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
My life is a sitcom
1. I ended up going to work 5 hours late a few days ago. I was stuck in beach traffic for like 7 hours.
2. My best friends and I went out to eat in Allston for one of their birthdays. After dining in for about an hour and a half, we realized that my car was towed.
I owe her cousin $130.
3. The next night, I performed my culture piece When The Wars Begin and opened up the Massachusetts Poetry Festival for some dope poets. (Major Jackson, Maggie Dietz, and ROBERT PINSKY)
That shit cray.
4. Last night I was admitted to the ER due to a stomach virus and extreme dehydration. That shit was crazy.
My life is amazing. I love my life and I am still blessed and extremely happy. I mean, I'm still alive and living.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
(there's no baby, don't worry)
Is there something you need to tell me
I don't drink
I perform my poetry with
They fed me lobster rolls
Boyfriend makes me an omelet
It was okay
Goes back to bed
Wakes up at 2 14pm
Gets ready for work
Troops to the bathroom
Throws up all the omelets I've eaten in the past 18 years
Fever and headache
Troops to boyfriend's sister's room
My body got rid of everything I took in
I remember falling over on the toilet
And screaming at the top of my lungs for help
Boyfriend knocks door open
Throws up everything
Do you want to go to the hospital
(I think she should go to the hospital)
I knock out and end up in the ER
in a wheelchair
Hair looking like Wolverine's lover
feeling like his professor
They fed me popsicles
my best friends came to visit
It was midnight
They fed me popsicles
through an IV)
The nurses were nice
I had bad gas
That was my Saturday night
Friday, April 20, 2012
I think...that I am this much closer to changing the world.
I am a mouse
Quiet when I feel like my identity will be heard
I never want to be brought down, from what I do, who I surround myself with and what I strive for.
Tonight I will be praised
A pat on the back for my words
What world do I seem eager to be on top of?
I seem like such a powerful woman
I am only 18.
How much can the world and people around me actually change?
I never talk about my poetry life with anyone, unless I'm required to. Unless someone else brings it up. Is this just a humble mindset or am I afraid
Of setting myself up for failure
Whatever it is
Fear is blind.
I am feeling the hearts of lions
Thump and jump
Watch me as I love the sight of eyes watching me.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Its been four days since I've slept lonely
Not sure if I miss being lonely
Just know that I am still alone
Waking up in the middle of the night
Having to shoot your brains out
From a horrible dream
But finding the comfort in yourself to fall back asleep
You are in my peripherals
Every time I stretch open eyelids
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
You sleep upside down.
And its not like its a bad thing
Maybe you want to
Be on the cooler
Side of life
Feel numb from all the
Unfinished promises and
Unfurnished living room spaces
You are alone for a reason
Destined to be alone not lonely
There is a difference you are searching for
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
I do not want to be an architect anymore
I no longer see myself wanting to design
homes for people searching for a roof top sanctuary.
I would much rather
build a home for broken souls
the thing about broken people is...
they feel whole with jars of hope
of bottle lipped women
the times fly quicker
spread wings like eager virgin church girls
We all just want to fly some times
We all just want to soar
shout, hear rustling leaves on the bottom of our
backs slipping into angel dimples
hear soft moans on newborn skin
I forget how it feels to be virgin some times.
To be completely whole
I am one of those labeled food cans
donate me to a hunger shelter
I will hold you
and make you feel whole
but I do nott think you understand how far my wings can take me
on my own
I can walk on them
Stand on them, convince you that it is Autumn
in the middle of a tornado Summer
blow away house top roofs but
Mama doesn't know that I no longer wish to design roof tops
Rather spread my wings and let you hold me
soar with me
til all the dead Autumn leaves turn red
"Stay golden my beautiful girl
Stay golden my beautiful girl"
That is what my parents want
A trophy wife for a rich man
A smart man
That I will design kitchen counters smooth enough for our elbows to bump
and create crackling sounds of flexible backs
Making home made jars of love in a house made kitchen
I no longer wish to be an architect
I wish to fly and spread my wings to empty churches
Fill them like first time virgins
Lose my mind and dance mindlessly
into the arms of a broken soldier
where is your soul, you beautiful boy
where is your soul
I do not wish to build homes for lonely soldiers
Bring your old virgin bodies
lay them to rest here
"Stay golden my beautiful girl
Stay golden my beautiful girl"
build temples with your broken souls
There is a reason why churches build around stained glass windows
They are made from the glass they prevent you from bleeding Autumn red with
on tornado Summer nights
while making love to soldiers looking for their dead souls
We all fight battles some times
We all build walls around our temples
wishing to stay golden
even if we're only half full
I've lost the other half of me trying to design safe havens
for the church girl dignities who love their mothers but hold lovers that dance mindlessly
Friday, April 13, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
trying to keep you
not knowing this is wrong
I should not be holding you
keep you pushing
and I want to keep on
sometimes not with you
but now more than ever
It is a needy feeling
to move this day forward
Time is stopping between
the minutes and seconds of not
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Monday, April 9, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
You have stolen the title of
with a hand gun made from cotton candy
sweet baby Jesus promises
sent straight from unicorn
Although I will probably see you once
it will become a tradition
To feel your spirit in person is such a gift itself
it should only be felt when expected
Those around you daily are
I'll ever know
Bless their souls
The last night I saw you,
you chased me down a dorm hall
with a stranger's DD bra.
It was honestly the scariest
moment of my life.
Would I replay that moment again?
but at least I'll never forget it.
We are brother and sister
I love you
never gonna hate you
always gonna protect you
from evil wizards wearing
and false hopes kinda
afraid to let some witchcraft
scoop down and
steal the other from the other.
It is a two for one deal
Partners in crime
We are the mother fucking
Shaking the pixie dust from
phony little bitch wizards
ASK ME WHO YOU ARE AFRAID OF
I won't have an answer
Only because I'd rather be
blind to what you fear.
For that would be greater than
is a curse.
If one day you should become blind
wolf puffin Canadian
fly, my dude.
I am a two hour flight
a (>$500) two hour flight
But huff and puff your way here
with unicorn security by your side
it is safe
IT WILL ALWAYS BE SAFE
Friday, April 6, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Feel warmth through the opportunities
rushing through welcome spaces.
May be dark til passion reawakens in
you, brightens the auras of seven
past lovers, yes yours. Around the newly
I will hear what I want to hear. Hear what
makes you want to squirm.
At the first sound of a crackle,
didn't you remember the girl who first broke your heart,
don't you ever forget.
Makes me want to scream
THIS IS NOT A BROKEN HEART
more like a heart on a wall plug charger
We are regenerating for future purposes
for future divorces
future broken in homeless shelters.
Smells like home all fried and frizzled
broken into like those new comforters
have found some an owner
or two. Smells mostly like
two lovers dicing sour limes,
one for the road and one for the whiskey
they'll pretend to drink sober
pretend to do a drunk dance sober
out of pure sanity
You want to do a crazy dance
Feel it once, you taste it once you feel this day
is nothing like a wall plug.
And this is not a broken heart
I am telling you
You are charging away at
bullshit excuses, bullshit reasons to
let a thief into your home.
You spell everything
without a backbone.
You fight it all
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
At this point in my life
I am not sure where I want to be or
who I can see myself completing missions with.
I just want to be hand in hand with my poetry
I am there. Never letting go, fist full of truth and honesty. Honestly getting lost in my art is the best kind of surrendering to do. I've said hello to white flags way too often but this blank canvas has proved to be the most satisfying
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Saturday, March 31, 2012
This is the beauty of our art. We live poetry like a sport, but never forget about good sportsmanship. We are the people you should want to be.
Don't understand why people stereotype us as dark
Don't understand we are story tellers
Not going to apologize for being truthful
The tears you see are tears you can learn from
Build a canoe of words and conquer your fears
a little grime never hurt
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
on fifty different planes
where is your safety today
I will pin you two on two
one for your beloved and three for your children
who will never hear your sorrows and your song cries
this is your bittersweet punishment.
you throw away your troubles
trade it in for a baby or five
one for each aisle
one for each aisle.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
a Tuesday night
I've grown accustomed to not sleeping early now. my mind is always racing and my feet somehow always want to drag myself back
and I still feel so horrible when I think about you and the girls you've loved
and learned to love who loved to leave and left you for boys who could obviously learn how to love them correctly.
2. sometimes I feel like holding this piece of me to myself makes it seem like I'm holding a secret from the rest of the world. I feel like there should be a greater way to tell strangers I am a rape victim.
I guess that's how you will learn how I love
and learn how to love me, correctly.
this is not directed to you. this is directed to the girl in the navy blue hoodie wearing nothing else but her dignity. I know you've been hurt too.
3. I often speak to myself indirectly, as a way to not feel so distant from human interaction.
it is 11 09pm
on a Tuesday night.
I was raped on a Tuesday night.
not this Tuesday night
or any Tuesday nights near this night.
sadness, eventually catches up to you. to my youth.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Because I don't spend too much time trying to look good to standards.
I have short hair,
I have trimmed down on the eyeliner,
I don't wear push up bras
and I prefer to describe my look as androgynous.
Some people don't appreciate girls that look like boys
or even boys that look like girls. Who cares.
I love you for who you express yourself to be.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
I will have been in my classes
for one full week
for the first time
in almost a month.
But I can honestly say
in that one month
I've learned far more than I could have ever learned
sitting at a desk
being a one to 30 ratio
I am still learning.
That I want to hurry up and get out of here.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
with dirty sandal toes
And a hint of lovers retreat over my body
Easy and simple to love someone so pure
Not too difficult to love someone
The summer heat reminds me of making love to the girl who broke my heart, during last summer's heat.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
he feels threatened
by a good friend of his
who is questioning his true intentions
of how strongly he loves me
and when a new lover could appear
a stronger, more intense intention
and when a past lover could appear
he makes sure
I don't disappear
love runs on
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
- My best friends asked me today
Why don't you talk about your art life
What you do is fucking awesome
- I slammed for the first time in ages. I'm not sure if I love the slam scene as I used to, or as I didn't, but it was something worthy. My words have some sort of effect on people. On strangers.
- I can score as low as a 29.2 and as high as 29.4. This makes me nervous, and eager to warm up more quickly.
- I wonder if I can get perfect scores. I wonder if the girl in the back row, looked at me with eyes of admiration, because she thought my words were powerful. Or because I am beautiful.
- Feeling beautiful like I should.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
I smell like ten different scents.
Most of them are gross
all of them are gross.
But I also smell like
and discipline. Sometimes
I get afraid that my
would get in the way
of business. It turns out
I am just fine
just the way I am.
I am making enough wealth
to smile and pay my dues.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Holding you in between lost moments
Do you know that I will love you always
Miss days of missing you during the day
Just want to be in the dark again
summer time warmth, no curfew
This is where we spend the most memories
Under dimmed out dawn skies
I will still love you when we are awake
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
- Slow and painless recovery from pneumonia
- Strong case of laziness
- The feeling when your hair grows out and is stuck in an ugly stage for a while
- No sleep
- Too much sleep
- Not enough motivation to inspire
- Slow and painless journey back to happiness
- Strong case of determination
- I need to be more patient
- No sleep
- Enough sleep
- I have all the support in the world
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
You are bellowing
hoping to shake sense out of lost lovers
Wake them up in a make believe utopia
This is how they'll fall in love
Maybe for the first time,
maybe even the last.
Hopefully the last.
I am silently shouting to keep our ties together
Monday, March 12, 2012
Starting to feel my heart grow weaker
Every day without my lover seems to go by quicker
Is this a good thing?
Does time freeze while I'm with you
or does all life drag on,
feel like spilling salt over
call it an accident
Throw my heart over my right shoulder
just to see what's left
Days like these make me worried
I want to love you
with an open mind
Do not want to leave doors open for too long
There are far too many strangers I can fall in love with