day 363

Confessions of an introvert:

1. It may be wrong
   but some days I pray for my cell phone
   to lose service
   to lose life
   to lose the fight to stay alive.
   I just don't want to talk to anyone today.
   Most days.
2. I try not to sound dramatic
   whenever I ask for a day to be alone
   but I end up making a huge scene.
   I need time
   all
   the
   time
   to recharge
   re-energize
   It's extremely exhausting
   talking to people
3. I just don't prefer being surrounded by people
   I hate big crowds
   I hate long conversations
   I hate people that only prefer to go to
   the mall, big dance parties,
   or small cafes
   just to be alone
   just to talk.
4. You honestly don't need to talk so much.
5. I honestly don't appreciate human beings that
   ask me
   What's wrong with you?
   Why are you so quiet?
6. ...
7. Why are you ignoring me?
8. I'M NOT IGNORING YOU
9. I just don't have the energy to speak
   too much time feeling uncomfortable
   and not enough time to feel happy
10. I am, too, uncomfortable when I am quiet.
11. I don't think anything is wrong with me.
    I have just learned to appreciate small talk,
    close friends, and good vibes.
    I don't think it's wrong to ask to be alone
    and I don't think it's wrong to prefer not to respond.
    Sometimes people say the darnest things.
    I'm not afraid of people.
    I just get burnt out.
    I'm so full of energy that it tires me.
    Drives me insane sometimes.
    I don't plan on changing this. This plays a huge part in my life.
    In who I am.
    If I wasn't an introvert, I wouldn't be the same.
    I wouldn't love what I love,
    and love who I love.
    I wouldn't be as lovable.