Sunday, July 31, 2011

day 7


Midnight

1 sleepless soul
Welcome to the dreams I wish to awaken
Slip me into your wishes
like falling Cinderella cinder block hard
I am falling
cinder block hard
You are construction site cementing home
To
me

2
Your voice sits on the edge of my roof tile memory
Sleepless lullaby me asleep
Singsong tease me
Say we're home
I like it and

I like you

3
You told me
three worded phrases
always linger longer.
I can't forget
and I won't.

4
We are warm..
I love this.
I love you.

We are home.

5
I miss you
Like shattered mosaic door frames
Like Cinderella missing midnight
cinder block hard
Like I am one sleepless soul without you

What the fuck

I hate you
I hate this

6
I am awake
I am alive
I am strong

7
I am pretending

8
I am complete
Complete like black holes in broken skylights
and I don't remember where home is.

9
Cinder block hard,
Love, you just
shattered broken foundations.
Breaking cement strong chemistry bonds
Let the cold seep in

10
I forgot how warm home is.

11
I am pretending
Mornings are tough
Days get tougher
Nights are alive with pinch me awakes
with clammy finger nail memories
with tough skin that makes you love me
Skin is lovely
like love me lovingly tough

12
My skin is
alive and tougher
than morning day cement on cinder block wishes
than hugging gravity because I fell in love with being warm
than playing house because I can patch my broken skylights mosaic homely
I am happy and in love
like I let gravity scrape my knobby 12 year old knees
because love is just that
Falling like hanging door knobs

Midnight
Welcome to the sanctuary of my wishes
Hand security blanket to gravity
It will throw you dirt cold lovingly asleep
Because that is home and
That is homely lovingly and
this is home
I am home
in shattered cement door frames
in cinder block falling in love with broken in houses
with lousy security blanketed wishes
Welcome to the sanctuary of revelation
populated with lingering three word phrases
Lost in the beauty of the mid of night
Trace my singsong rooftop melodies
because
I am alone
lovingly loving me
because
you can't forget
one sleepless soul that made you fall faster than gravity
cement stick yourself to me
I am home

1
You are one sleepless soul

2
My voice will become native tongue to you

3
Three worded phrases are all you had to say
You are speechless

4
You are cold

5
Don't miss me

6
Fuck you

7
You are helplessly falling into broken black holed words
I am now cement heart strong

8
I am complete

9
Reality just hit you cinder block hard
and you miss me like Cinderella missing midnight

10
This home does not welcome you

11
You miss my warm skin
I am pinching you awake with tough fingernails

12
It's midnight and you are one sleepless soul

Saturday, July 30, 2011

day 6


Growth

Growth is sometimes foreign to my lips
But never foreign to my frenzied brain
Post-it note it across my forehead
Different petals with different ink
Look at my wants in a surplus of perspectives
Growth is my subconscious

I am constantly yearning to grow
Brave and willing to stretch my arms out of their sockets
Sprout daisies from my own dirt lodged edges
I am fragile but I will never let you land an ear on my soul
I am cardboard cut sharp
Trust me
Please be careful

The beauty of a daisy is sharp
Is high definition
Is seductive red on the lips of foolery
Beauty will wilt
Don't trust beauty
Like
I don't trust you
because trust will wilt
Trust is eggshell sturdy
Is dirty weed vulnerable
Is cyanide on taste buds
Trust is sometimes foreign to my lips
but never foreign to brown eyed back yards

My soul grows dandelions
Dirty weed vulnerable
I build sharp edges around them
Keep them safe
Keep them from the beauty of trust
Your weatherman predictions will never crumble my walls
Paper post-it notes fragile
My walls are growing
I don't trust you
Like growth
Like reaching my dandelion fingers into your daisy dirt
Like I am growing to not trust your beauty
Like knock on my soul
I am bulletproof canteen ready
Be careful
Please trust me

Sunrise revelation of sweat marks on vulnerable wounds
Things are heating up
My cement fences are cracking earthquake long
Wide enough to show my flaws
Like stretched soda can ears
Like reach your daisy fingers into me
Like taint me with gold
Like I am a dirty dandelion
Like my petals of vulnerability never fail to grow sharply out of place
I hate it
I wish they would wilt
There is no beauty in wanting to be picked
Wanting to be grown into someone's dirty magenta flower pot
Like cardboard cut sharp captivity
My flaws grow like vines
Vines never wilt
My wounds never wilt
My wounds continue to grow and I still don't trust you
There is a beauty in password sturdy security
My walls stand tall
My canteen of trust lay empty
Lay bulletproof canteen ready
Be ready
I am pleasingly careful

My soul is carefully pleasing
You will never hear what you seek
Be careful
I don't trust you
Like the password to my garden of frenzied brain fried brown eyed back yard barbecue
Like daisies are poisonous to touch
Like the beauty of a daisy is lip stick seductive red on foreheads
Like daisies trust you
Like you will never feel what you seek
Like daisies let you grow fingernail vines onto their dirty roots
Like lock jaw on rusted tongues
Like I am a dirty dandelion but I am beautiful, too
Like you don't trust my beauty
Like I am paper cardboard cut sharp
Like I don't trust me
Like I am constantly yearning to grow into you

Friday, July 29, 2011

day 5


1
Her hair flows in the wind like oil spill on blue canvas
Noticeable
A tainted stain on the presence of everything innocent
You can't wash the image from your sight
But you don't fight it

2
She paints images of intellect on everything she touches
You may not understand the purpose of the color scheme
But she will make you feel in colors you question yourself to feel
Bleed colors you didn't know complimented your smile

3
Emma smiles like mixing oil with water
Awe in amazement at the sight of teeth on tongue
Somehow it works
White clouds on pink sunsets
You don't want to say good bye
Touch her words
Reassure them they will be safe with you

4
Brush a strand of her hair behind her ears with your tainted fingers
Allow beauty to seep skin deep

3
It becomes noticeable
She bleeds the colors of worthy literature
and fresh cut grass

2
How do you make a pretty girl feel like worthy literature?
I've caught her words with fingers of honey
She attracts the bumblebees on the days she lays on fresh cut grass
She laughs hues of lavender on an honest Spring day

3
Her favorite number is 3
But like worthy literature,
old house color schemes,
and oil spills,
choice of parts rarely appear

3
She spray paints her hair through our eye sight
No one fights it
We learn from her own strength
She doesn't wince when she pricks her fingers with thorns of adventure
She doesn't fight it

3
Emma teaches us to bleed the colors
we all need to learn about

Thursday, July 28, 2011

day 4

She was his perfect storm.
Told me that no one ever wished him good nights
unless it was obligatory.

Tell me now if my behavior is obligatory
If I'm supposed to treat you the way I do
If I'm going an arm's length out of my way to make you happy
You only know storms
You've grown used to the darkest of eclipses blocking your sunshine

So blinded by the lightning
You don't even remember what it's like to cry on your own
Told me that no one ever cries happy tears
That sunlight doesn't second guess an escape from hurricanes

Friend

There are such things as sun storms
They exist like the dew drops on the thorns of roses
Never playing coward to pain
The skies stay alive with blue clouds and lightning sunshine
While blue droplets drop like lightning
Telling you that these events don't just occur in nature
Thunder monsoons flooding your thoughts
Shaking you to wake up
The wind whispered to me your secrets

Told me that she was your perfect storm

Now shout through the tornado your answers
If you're able to find beauty on the thorns of roses
What makes you so blind to the beauty of letting go?
She was your perfect storm
And when she left,
she left you with nothing but a shrunken heart.
Like leaving out lingerie to dry but
finding out that the hurricane blew them away

There are no intimate secrets allowed in this friendship

You told me that I could replace her
and it's obligatory for me to do so
but also necessary to teach you how to survive the drought
She was your perfect storm
Left you with the reality of a 9.2 aftershock,
dry spells, and hallucinations
You wish she would come back for you
Help you repair what is broken
Hold you when the ground can't hold you up anymore

but you know you can't handle facing her yet.

Friend

I can't replace the perfect storm
The one who taught you to swim deep enough to stop tsunamis
but I can help you handle the hallucinations
Get you through the drought
I won't let your heart diminish

I'll tell you that I am your sun storm
Allow you to prick the thorns of broken bonds
While crying white skies and blue Nirvana

I am his sun storm
Told me no one wishes him good living
unless it was obligatory.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

day 3

Don't fall in love with another poet
They write shit about you
Good or bad, you don't have a choice
but to choose to listen to their honesty

I fell in love with another poet
And while I sit among the sidelines wishing to be noticed,
He is wishing to be noticed by someone else.

I always wanted to be the topic of someone's love piece,
have someone piece me together whole.
Close stitched and close to their minds,
like the very pieces of wool he wears around his hair.
Holding each strand of angel,
and being that much closer to his thoughts.
Don't fall in love with another poet.
You end up spending more time writing around them,
hoping that they notice,
but they don't.
I fell in love with another poet.

And while he sits there on cloud nine,
pen in hand, words googling around her sweet rose-colored complexion,
I am wondering what makes her body make up
make up more inspiration than mine.
We are both mostly made of water, blood cells, and wants.
What makes her wants more appealing than my wants
I just want 
to be noticed.

When he writes up another jaw dropping masterpiece
I can't help but awe
I wish he could piece me together into something breathtaking
because I am the poet that falls in love with other poets
Spend too much time finger painting the next Van Gogh
But simultaneously cutting off my left ear
Don't want to listen to the words that have no relation to my being
but for the time being, I can only wish
Compose a starry eyed madness
to capture his heart
Place his heart upon the stub of skin I used to call ear
Convince him that I am listening to his every word
Although I know
that I am just the poet that falls in love with other poets
And he is the poet
That knows not to.
And I am slowly wilting away at every breath he takes to call her name
But he himself
is not sure if she exhales as much carbon dioxide to help love grow

How tall of a bean stalk love is he searching for?
Is he actually willing to climb the depths of Mariana Trench for her love,
or even swim to snow capped tops of Everest
to proclaim his feelings.
I am nearly not as adventurous
But I still fell in love with another poet
The silence is loud in this gray area
Drop a pin from my tongue and hear it explode into the many beatings
my heart skips through while seeing him
Instigated a wave of avalanche hoping
to paint her sweet rose-colored complexion blank.

Willing to recycle his rose-colored lenses into 
something lovely we can both hold.
I know I can't hold him the way she has him by string
and I know that he wouldn't even try to cut the ties
He is her puppet
Drags him through cross word puzzle confusions
And leaves him without oxygen
The way he leaves me breathless without even resting an eye on me
I am just the poet that fell in love with another poet
Tending a garden of false hope and pretty make up
Finger painting a starry eyed madness upon the puddle of a melted avalanche
Googling over sweet rose-colored words
that have no meaning to my existence
Might as well sit and watch while letting my flowers grow extinct
Don't ever fall in love with another poet
He is hopelessly drowned in the avalanche of kisses he sends to her

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

day 2


Open letters to the cities I love: Part 2

To Seattle-
You've left me sleepless
Exchanged quick breaths for helium lungs
I choke at an effort to speak to you
Ask you what your name is
I cringe
pathetic excuse for a three second conversation

The movement of jaws unhinging 
and tongues dancing in the secrecy of our own heads
Makes me wonder what runs through your thoughts
Makes me wonder what runs your thoughts
Discover what words you associate with my being
What color is your balloon heart when you see me?

Sew velcro eyelids to lash lines
Force magnetic sleep cycles into muscle memory

Open letter to Seattle-
my soul won't rest
I cannot get my mind to stop racing around your city block breaths
Pupils play muscle memory against dreams
REM cycles bicycle through city block wants

Want 1
The handshake
The closest thing I've gotten to feeling your touch
Gentle, sweet,
five fingers left me without logic

Want 2
Introduction
The first time the butterflies bicycled through helium lungs
They landed on my balloon heart
It's colored sleepless
They run my thoughts now

Want 3
I want to know what scares you

Want 4
Where do butterflies bicycle to when the city blocks are unfamiliar?

Want 5
What color is your balloon heart when you think of me?

Want 6
Don't forget to put up a detour sign
drag me by magnetic force
Teach me how to turn the release of helium in my lungs
into muscle memory

Open letter to Seattle-
How does your tongue dance while in the secrecy of your thoughts?
The butterflies ignored the detour
and bicycling made me tired
I have so much helium in my lungs
it makes me too nervous to speak
Open letter to Henry Luke-
Is sleepless a color?

Monday, July 25, 2011

day 1


Open letters to the cities I love

To Lowell-
Thank you for showing me how beautiful our community is
The closed stitched city filled with blessed opportunities
Say you want to leave
but no one can run too far without missing your roots
Thank you Lowell
for holding me around my ankles
I will never run too far from your green eyed concrete
I guess I always loved solid eye contact

To Toronto-
Its true
Canadians know how to get down
Won't worry too much about not being able to get back home
Allow you to embrace me with your hands
Tangle your fingers in my hair
Never let go
I won't forget how you easily kept me up all night

To Hawaii-
I can't give all credit to one city
But Hawaii, I love you
Thank you for playing home for such a beautiful Jamaica
You withhold the saying:
You don't know until you feel
I love Jamaica
Her sunshine smile and hot sand eyes
She's beautiful
No other words to describe her
Thank you for her existence

To Houston-
I don't have much to say about my religion
but I am blessed by your efforts
Thank you
for trying to dig under my skin
However
I am stubborn and have no intentions of changing
Sorry from a girl with no words but awkward auras

To Providence-
Forever my neighbor
I love you
Through the trials and tribulations
I haven't known you for too long
but you've managed to get under my skin
Yet I forgive you
I am obliged to love my neighbor

To Worcester-
For your hard work and solid dedications
I am so proud

To New York-
Bravery and honesty have grown two different definitions
Dawn admiration upon my being
You inspire me

To Oakland-
Thank you for keeping me safe
It's a word I've yet to understand
but your generosity will stay a safe haven for my thoughts
I will always acknowledge your golden heart
You are amazing

To Berkeley-
Forever the stepping stone to invitation
Without you, the other cities would have remained invisible
Allowed me to see written ink on blank faces
I've learned so much in so little

To San Francisco-
I am not used to your fog
Drag me around by tongue
Give me the chills
Housed three thousand people for one night
Thank you for blessing me with your foundation

To the countless cities I love but left nameless-
I miss you all
Inspiration for centuries to come
Thank you
for opening my ears
For opening your ears
For complete unity

Open letters to the cities I love
Til we meet again

Sunday, July 24, 2011

To the ex boyfriends that just couldn't understand


Hello.
It's me, again.
But I'm not here to take you back
dumbass.

I'm here to explain why I can't stay.
I
fell in love...
with..
cats!

YES! CATS!

I like cats with short hair,
cats with long hair,
cats with no hair-
you're beautiful the way you are.

I love cats with hats
and hats with cats,
fat cats with blue eyes,
and the fat cats I see when I stare at your blue eyes
SHIT

I just...love...cats.

I also love cantaloupe.
I love cantaloupe that look like cats
and cats that look like cantaloupe
I love cats that control catapults
and catapults full of cats...being thrown at me...
obviously..
I just...love..cats so much

To the ex boyfriends that just couldn't understand
I'm sorry we can't be.
You're just the wrong type of pussy.

To the girl I'd give up my cat addiction for (Jamaica Osorio)


There's something about your presence
that just makes me feel right for once
Where I don't have to second guess myself
It makes me feel warm
The sun in your smile spoon feeds me comfort
I haven't grown used to the fog here,
but you make things clearer.

I feel warm.

I feel the warmth that people seek in your name
Makes me want to live in your sun soaked hair
Where the fog doesn't matter
and I'm closest to your thoughts

Jamaica
There's no sweeter way to sing after meeting you
My eyes hum the most comforting songs
My ears catch every pitch, every bass to your voice
My soul feels alive again

Reawakened by the words my heart has turned into a story
Feel so anxious upon seeing you
Afraid to spill my teeth all over the floor
because my breath has become heavy enough
to shatter things that should matter

Slowly growing unafraid of breaking down walls
Quickly growing towards spilling my thoughts
The floor shouldn't matter
The floor doesn't matter
I am at an unnatural high
Your presence should not make me feel like this
but I just feel right for once

Love, described by Pi



You are the center of my universe
Hold you deep in my circle of thoughts
Gray and pink drawn with open spaces,
We decreased the corners
And added some smooth edges
I keep your kisses in a circle locket because
Circles never end

Come travel with me to infinity
Let me show you my atmosphere

I’ll reassure you that I’ll always be here

The only thing in between this everlasting love is
The point

3 point 1 4

3 points of why I love you, one for
each equation that seems too impossible to be
solved

but stay with me and I’ll simplify your problems
leave you answers with a sign that
resembles a home

Love,

My love for you can only be written in numbers
They may run too long with simple digits but they will never run
Too far

To Nathan



I never cry myself to sleep.
Or maybe, sometimes I just try to forget that I do
Because crying makes me tired
But being tired makes me fall asleep
So off I snooze

And I am wandering
My dream land isn’t so dreamy,
More rather dreary
With grays and browns and fogs and
Nothing really exciting as I portray myself to be

My phone is more popular than I am
Receives more rings than I ever will
And whenever someone calls for me
It’s 6:27AM. My alarm.

As I’m drifted off to sleep
My phone rang
I usually ignore it because I don’t want to talk to the Grim Reaper
But it was You.

Nathan,
You put the N where the center of my name goes
Completing my identity and making me whole.

I’ve never written about my heroes before
Because I fear that I’d lack the right words
But you’ve taught me to never be afraid.

To never dismiss death as a weakness
But rather a strength
Because the day I let my past wilt,
was the best I’ve ever felt.

The ashes slip through my fingers
But they buried themselves deep into the mud

Eventually your smile brought the sun out again
Dried up the mud, and sprouted some flowers

Nathan.
The gray and brown clouded dreams are gone,
But don’t ever be afraid of letting go.
The flowers of this friendship are what keeps me alive.

April 5


April 5, 2011
Dear diary,
The sun never came out today
Home needs to stop being walking distance from school
My dog snores
I hate school
My dog chews on her foot
We’ve been alone today
I instant message my best friend
We’ve been best friends forever
The bags under your eyes are gray
Onions make me cry
High school sex is bad
The sun never came out today
I hate school
Home needs to stop being walking distance from school
My dog snores
My dog chews on her foot
We’ve been best friends forever
We’ve been alone today
High school sex is bad
I instant message my best friend
Onions make me cry
The bags under your eyes are gray
The sun never came out today
The sun was hiding
It makes me sad
Onions make me cry
High school sex is bad
Don’t tell me youre pregnant
I instant message my best friend
We’ve been alone today
She’s pregnant
She was hiding it
The sun was hiding
The sun never came out today
My dog snores
Home needs to stop being walking distance from school
I hate school
I hate school
We don’t go to the same high school
They watch her walk
We’ve been best friends forever
Onions make me cry
My dog chews on her foot
The sun was hiding

She was hiding it
I hate school
April 05, 2011
High school sex is bad
She’s not bad
I instant message my best friend
We’ve been best friends forever
She’s been hiding it forever
Dear diary,
The bags under your eyes are gray
And so is her brain
She was hiding it
High school sex is bad
My dog snores
My dog chews on her foot
We’ve been alone today
She’s not alone
High school sex is bad
The sun never came out today
The sun was hiding
April 05, 2011
Astronauts
Onions make me cry
I watched her cry
She hid the sun
Astronauts
She wishes she could fly
My dog snores
In her dreams
In my dreams
Home stops being walking distance from school
My dog chews on her foot
April 05, 2011
We’ve been best friends forever
I instant message my best friend
Don’t tell me you’re pregnant


The Condensed Guide to Happy Living

CHAPTER 1
SMILE
No one wants to be the asshole that
Tries to spread frowns like wildfire
HOWEVER
If you do want to encourage frowns
Then you are not living A HAPPY LIFE
READ OVER CHAPTER 1 BEFORE MOVING ON TO

CHAPTER 2
TALK IN CAPS LOCK
It makes everything you say seem more official

CHAPTER 3
HAVE YOUR HEART BROKEN
“You can’t have the sunshine without the rain”
Push aside your pride and
Cry yourself a new black sea
Full of your runny mascara and eyeliner
And remember
There are four different fish in the sea:
FISH YOU LOVE THAT LEAVE YOU
FISH YOU LOVE THAT YOU LEAVE
FISH YOU LOVE BUT YOU HATE THEIR GUTS, BUT THEYRE SUPER HOT
YOU CANT LEAVE THEM BECAUSE HAVING FUN IS MORE IMPORTANT
FISH YOU LOVE THAT ARE EXTREMELY AWESOME AND STAY AWESOM
FOR FIFTY YEARS THEN YOU WAKE UP ONE DAY AND REALIZE SHIT AI
REAL BECAUSE GOLDFISH DON’T LIVE THAT LONG
AND KOI FISH ARE TOO EXPENSIVE
AND YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THOSE DAMN SHARKS
AND IT’S HARD TO CUDDLE WITH A WHALE EVEN THOUGH A WHALE I
MAMMAL
But everything else are fish
So fuck that

CHAPTER 4
SHARE YOUR WISDOM
NOT YOUR TEETH
Most people don’t like gift wrapped dentures
And other people don’t like people who bite
I mean, vampires aren’t happy

CHAPTER 6
Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how sexy you are
And if someone tells you otherwise
Reassure them that you’re one steamy ass, sweet talking, book reading, pants melter
of a bitch
And you own it
And they’re just jealous

CHAPTER 7
Give out meaningful compliments
Tell someone their hair looks great
Tell someone you like their shoes
TELL SOMEONE THEY’RE LOOKING EXTRA DOUCHEBAG TODAY
And mean it.

CHAPTER 8
RAAAAAAGE
DON’T KEEP YOUR DAMN EMOTIONS BOTTLED INSIDE
SOON ENOUGH YOU’LL EMIT TOO STRONG ANGRY CARBONATES
AND YOU’LL EXPLODE
WRITE ANGRY POETRY
EAT AWAY YOUR FEELINGS
TELL SOMEONE THEY’RE LOOKING EXTRA DOUCHEBAG TODAY
And mean it.

And
CHAPTER 24
DON’T GIVE A FUCK
AND YES
I KNOW I SKIPPED CHAPTERS
BUT THIS IS THE DAMN CONDENSED GUIDE
AND SOMETIMES
YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE UP YOUR OWN FUCKING RULES
AND BE HAPPY

Persona piece: Godzilla



I am known as King of the monsters but
What kind of creature would be proud of that?
What kind of friends are there to make when
All the other monsters just want your title
And all the human men just try to kill me
And all the pretty girls are
Dead

THIS CITY IS A TICKING TIME BOMB WAITING TO EXPLODE I ONLY WANTED TO HELP YOU
This city never sleeps
Never shuts its bright eyes
I’ve never seen it paintbrush its lashes against the night sky
You are too afraid to sleep
You fear that I will take over
This city
Always talking away
Grinding your teeth into a blender
Blending tv static together
I ONLY WANTED TO HELP YOU

Stop running in the other direction
I can hear the thunder in your heart
It dances along my nuclear pulse
Synchronized with my beating chest
I did not mean to hurt you
My hands are a little too big
Or shall I say my paws
Because I am not worthy of finger tips that turn everything to gold
I wish there was a way.
Because everything I touch turns to dust
Every breath I exhale sends your heaven to hell
And my feet will always have blood stains on them

I did not mean to hurt you
You fear me when all I really wanted was
Companion
I’ve been ostracized for too long
Being immune to death is not a blessing
It’s a curse
I either spend half my days in the depths of my tears or
Sit around and wait for this CITY
WAKE UP

I know the troubles you fight
I ONLY WANTED TO HELP YOU
I hate how my two brains don’t make me twice as smart
Instead
They persist to make me twice as strong
Send radiation towards my palms
I did not mean to hurt you
I only wanted to help
YOU
Don’t understand the power of rejection
Nor will you ever know
But I know first hand

Being the monster no one can ever love gets
Tiring
And being afraid of my own actions is tiring
I’m tired of causing destruction
I’m tired of being unlovable
But everyone claims
That I am just a monster
I will never amount to love
That love in my eyes is your home
Attacked by nuclear bombs and smoke
Invaded by deathly amounts of radiation
Flooded by lonesome rain drops
But I insist
That your love is shallow
That you only need me to fight off tornados
I am only your hero whenever I do you a good deed
But you are blind
I never ask for anything in return
Just a friendship
But you insist that you can never be my friend because you fear
That I will hurt you
I did not mean to hurt you
I only wanted to help

But my jaws are unhinging with every cry I make
I am always accused of ruining the world
Whirlpool me in the currents of rejection
Because I will always remain
Godzilla
King of the Monsters
Master of destruction
Leader of the Misunderstood
I only wanted to help you

Year Zero



By the time my mother was 15
She had already lost both of her parents

Welcome, to the Year Zero
Where intelligence is sacrificed
For revolution
We
Shall stand together as a self sufficient country

1975
A letter from myself dates back to my Grandfather
Tu ne peux pas t'figurer comme je t'aime
You have no idea how much I love you                           

Taken away like every pinch of blood the mosquitoes dance away with
Under the dark eyelids of despair
The clueless sky lit up by the crescent moon

They borrowed my mother’s father
Borrowed his brains for brawn
His wit for soul, his power for fright

She never saw him again
Only lived to taste the French Vietnamese blood every time she bit her tongue

Khmer Rouge
It’s French, for
Khmer Kahom
Red

Read. Read. Literature. Intellect. Education. Glasses. Masses. Murders. Humanity. Vanished. Vision. Sight.
The red tears blinded Ma Yey
Cambodian, for
Grandmother

If the starvation didn’t kill her, the grief did
By the time my mother was 15,
Her mind was a battlefield.

1975
Headlines now read:
Cambodia Reds are uprooting millions as they impose a Peasant Revolution

Left Left Left Right Right Left Left Left Left Left Right Away
They left their city home
Their books, their blankets,
Comfort so recognizable now became an imported item

Democratic Kampuchea: we are now a self sufficient country

City giants shrunk to ground ants
Red ants marched from suburban concrete to countryside killing fields
MY mother
1975
Coordinated hand and foot to harvest rice
Coordinated hand and foot with ear and hunger
Her ears eventually grew hungry for the sound of a whistle
Starvation, she says,
Is the worst kind of inadequacy to ever live through

Welcome, to the Year Zero
"To keep you is no benefit. To destroy you is no loss."
You shall become New People
Change is inevitable
The only knowledge you seek is about farm labor
Everything else is forbidden

The story of Adam and Eve
God fashions a man from the dust and blows the breath of life into his nostrils,
He plants the Garden of Eden

In the center of the Garden was the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil

God sets the man in the garden "to work it and watch over it," permitting him to eat all the berries from all the trees in the garden except that one tree,
"for on the day you eat of it you shall surely die."

Forbidden fruit

1975
My mother was responsible for harvesting apples
Sweetly and tenderly the green serpent lay on the ground
Bruised, but my mother still yearned for it
She kissed it with her teeth, but in the most innocent way possible

She had fallen in love with the forbidden fruit
Son of the Tree of Knowledge

The amount of agricultural knowledge the city ants possessed
Invented famine

Lack of food, lack of rest, headlines now read
Cambodia Reds, exterminating professionals and intellectuals

1975
A letter from myself dates back to Brother Number 1
Tu ne peux pas t'figurer comme je vous hais
You have no idea how much I hate you

You yourself was a university-educated man with quite the taste for French literature
Not to mention,
Your tongue swam in waves of fluent French

Hypocritically,
You killed my Grandfather.

Welcome, to the Year Zero
Goal: Social engineering
Population: 2 million, dead

Death

Patrick Henry: Give me Liberty or give me death
I would much rather be dead than live under your tyranny
John Locke: a man is by nature a social animal
We are all capable of harvesting the Tree of Knowledge

The blood of my unsung heroes seeped deep into my roots
My tongue bleeds a Red Cambodia but my veins scream the agony
My mother’s hands once feared

1979
The year the Year Zero turned to dust
Dust
Puff
The dirt of my sacred ancestors remnants blow into the wind
The same wind that blew the forbidden fruit off the tree into my mother’s hands
The same wind that whispers the cries of separation my family once experienced
The same wind that wraps my grandmother’s grief around my heart
The same wind that blows through my traditional black hair
Cools the same light skin I inherited from my Grandfather

Tu ne peux pas t'figurer comme je t'aime
You have no idea how much I love you