How to Deal with Crap Judges

In response to a beastass poet getting a 4 from a judge. I mean, a 4, really?

In a world where poetry is named air

And morons are allowed to put price tags on our souls

I bring to you

The almighty slam Poet guide book

Chapter one-

How to deal with crap judges

Step one

Stare those demons in the eyes

Intimidate them

Make them know you aren’t afraid of anything less than a 10

Or even a 4

Step two

Be a freaken bad ass

Dare them to give you a four

Step three

Tell them that they shouldn’t quit their day job

Because this is a job that doesn’t even matter

Step four

If they give you a four

Tell them nobody likes them

Because you’re a fucking 10, poet

Step five

You’re a fucking 10, poet!

So who gives a fuck if they give you a four!

Step six

If they give you a four

Cry when you get home

Don’t show them that they affected you

Step seven

You affected them!

They obviously can’t handle the amount of talent you have

Step eight

Guilt them into feeling horrible about themselves

The way they made you feel shitty after

Getting on stage

And pouring your heart out

Step nine

Don’t even think about not pouring your heart out

Pour that shit like you’ve never poured before

Step ten

If all else fails

Quietly murder them with your eyes

Who wants to give fours now motha fuckas?!?!

Step eleven

I don’t have anymore fingers

But

You should’ve already assassinated them by now, but if you didn’t…

Do it now.

Or forever

Hold your piece