day 295

Who is MARS
and where could Mars be


My mother calls me Mars
  I believe she wants me to grow into something more
COLOSSAL 
but I am a new planet everyday


but I am a new
I am a new planet
everyday
from happy to bitter to
scared
to
scared

I get scared sometimes.
Sometimes
too fearful

                Jasper gets fearful when he realizes I scare myself too much
you are too much of an inspiration, love
if you can't inspire yourself
to realize how grand things can be


then how will i convince you
...


I have never used the word scared
or afraid
or fearful
to describe myself
ever
I am so strong-hearted
courageous
and brave
they call me crazy for a reason


I'm afraid of rape.
Again.