day 35

Sometimes

most of the time

I think that I'm fine

I mean

I know that I'm fine,

but there are those days

sometimes

where I'm not

those moments

where I'm laying in bed

and I can't help but think of you.

Sometimes

most of the time

I get this lonely pit of empty in my stomach

where those cheeky butterflies used to dance

And I get sad

most of the time.

Sometimes I'll lay in bed with someone new

most of the time I'll just picture myself doing so

and the lonely pit of empty isn't there

Sometimes

I'm just confused

most of the time.

What do I really want

most of the time?

Sometimes I want you

but I want to be myself

most of the time.

Sometimes I want you

but I want to be happy

most of the time.

Sometimes I want you

but I want you to understand me

I want you to learn from me

I want you to see beauty like me

See,

I want you, sometimes,

but most of the time

I just want you in some other sense.

I remember wanting to hold the shit out of your hand

I still do.

You are a Sunday type of love

but when did Sundays turn into early afternoon secrets

sipping water from plastic cups

inside

on beautiful, warm summer days?

Sometimes

I'd just like to lay in bed with you

most of the time

and just be silent to ourselves

I would save you the right side of the bed

most of the time

and we would sleep

sometimes.

Sometimes

I still really just want you

I still really just want to hold your hand

and sip water from plastic cups

wasting away beautiful days

in your grasps

but

I really just want to be myself

most of the time.

Sometimes

all the time.